Someone precious

My beloved mom

It is Wednesday, 12th of August 2015 and it is 08:33 AM now, in Malaysia. I woke up in the middle of my sleeping, with tears falling through the small openings at the inner corners of the eyelids near the nose. I wonder what was I thinking about while I was sleeping. Then, random images of my late mom & myself pop up in my mind. The picture on the top of my journal is one of the images that has been on my mind for like 7 hours ago. I don't know why it came out suddenly, but probably because I missed her so much. It has been almost 6 months since she left my sister & I. Oh I wish you were here through our thick & thin, the struggles to at least moved on from crying over you has made me became even a stronger person. I am not as strong as I am now, if someone did not helped me get through all of these things, because I am pretty sure I won't be able to go out and show my silly ugly face crying. I thought there is no one could ever understands me like you do. But I was wrong, totally wrong. She is one of my senior at the college, the one that is so spontaneous in everything. She is the bravest person I've ever met, the person that can lead me through anything without bothering my bloody selfishness attitude. I was so surprised that she is able to control me and changed me into good. I am so lucky to know her, as a senior, a friend and an adopted sister. But it saddens me that you have never at least met her before you go. She is so rare to compare all of my friends. She is priceless, same as you are, mom. I don't get why did the both of you met for at least once. But what can I do? You are gone forever, I want to let you know that I am safe here, with her. I have stayed at her house for almost a month now. It is fun to leave with her family, I never thought that her parents would actually adopt me as her little sister one day. 2 weeks ago, her parents declared me as her adopted little sister. I am so happy to finally have a 'new' parents. The only point I want to point out is I wish you were here, with us, talking and laughing like you used to do before. I missed you so much, I am like living in a hell without you here beside me. But Alhamdulillah, I have found the new you, oh wait. No, the 2nd of you now. I am pretty sure, she will take care of me like the way you take care of me. I love you

New sem?

Tracing is exhausting, yet it's fun!

It is Monday, 18:13pm and it is raining outside. I am back for a new post!

It has been awhile since I updated my last post about my late auntie & grandpa. I've been working on something for the last 3 weeks for my college stuff. Well, yes. I've started my 2nd sem on the 3rd of November around 3 weeks ago. This time around, my schedule is so packed and I have less time to think about other things than my assignments. And I have a lot of classes that ends at 6pm (which is so late & makes me even more tired). But what can I do? Nothing, except to accept everything sincerely and just roll with all of the situation that is coming. Based on the picture I've shared to you guys above, that is one of the thing that I've working on for my 1st project for the Digital Illustration class. It was called 'tracing'. To those who don't know what's the meaning of tracing, it is basically a copy of a drawing, map, or design made by tracing it. The software that I'm using for this artwork is Adobe Illustrator. It is very challenging for me, because it is a new thing that I've learned so it's pretty hard. But, I'll try my best to try & practise to improve my skills.

I think, that's pretty much it. Thank you so much for reading, have a good night :)

The most heartbreaking month.

It was very a heartbreaking month.

It is literally 23:26pm, and I am with my mom in my aunt's room. The only room where we talked about a lot of stuffs, do stupid things together with my aunt. A place where I grew up with my aunt. Wait wow, I don't know how this post will be end. I can't really tell you, but what's going on right now is that I am so sad. Based on the collage of 3 pictures above, I have lost 2 wonderful person in my life within only 1week. Those are the people who always there for me, ups & downs. Who always took care of my family & I. And the people who has sacrificed a lot of their time just for my family & I. I have been cried too much for the past week, due to my aunt who has passed away on the 7th of October. My eyes were swelling so bad & I can't control myself. Thank god, my family have tried so hard to calm me down. And they did it! 

But...

Apparently, on the 14th of October, I've lost my grandpa on 11:10am at Hospital Kuala Lumpur. I was at home that time, I literally just woke up & just hit the shower. But then I got a heartbreaking news from my family Whatsapp group saying that my grandpa is dead. I was totally shocked and immediately went to my house and got changed wearing a proper outfits. I have never been this sad, for the past months & years. This is the most heartbreaking month for my family & I. Words really can't describe the situation I am in, but that is life. People come, and go. Just don't think too much, and move on. I know it is hard for you to do that on your first attempt, but you have to force yourself to do it no matter what. If I can do, why can't you? 

Be strong!